Whenever I talk to my friends about our days in Pretoria then Hatfield Square will always be the main topic. There shall be no other crazy mad fun place like that I’m the entire world and that I’m certain of. That place was so properly structured that it had the right place for any type of mood anybody might have been experiencing on any day. I remember my 2 friends and I had decided to stay after June exams to party more because our respective homes are either boring or are a military zone with curfews and all that other crap you experience at home. Funny enough I experience that crap on a daily now but we are not there. I was with Sbu Jam and Thabiso. One thing that actually made us stay was because Sbu Jam had just gotten paid 3 months’ salary for doing promotions and we had been carrying him for a long time. So his story was always that when he gets paid we would party as hard as possible so it was something to look forward to. The salary SMS came in while I was holding his phone so when we decided to hit the square I knew exactly what we were working with. We hit the whole square that night, from Cherry Jam in the afternoon, moving to T4 later and closing it off at Dropzone from 2 am until 4 am. It was a memorable night indeed and we accomplished everything we set to accomplish when we hit the square.
Everything was almost perfect that night except the fact that Thabiso wanted to prove that he is from Thembisa and he knows thug life and on the other hand Sbu Jam has just started taking MMA lessons. I spent a lot of moments putting out fires at the Sqaure that night because from my previous experiences here with my other friends I knew exactly what the bouncers were capable off. I won’t dwell too much on how that came to be but violent measures were used to tame this gorilla and make him submit to the laws there. I obviously had special benefits of not standing in queues , wearing flops and shots and still be allowed in.
Fortunately we made it out of the Square without any physical confrontations with anybody and we headed to Uncle Faouzi . If you’ve partied in Hatfield you even forget about all the other chicken franchises because when you are proper drunk or sober that food at Uncle Faouzi just does the things. Just everything in that Menu is quite delicious.
I remember I was ordering and chatting to the staff there and even making them laugh when I heard an “Ohh” sound from outside. My gut just knew who was misbehaving. Sbu Jan has dropped some punk with a head kick and he was ground and pounding him hard. That time I didn’t know it was called ground and pound because I was not an MMA fan yet but I had watched a bit to know that Sbu Jam was doing exactly what he saw on the videos he watched on a daily basis.
Reinforcements for the punk that was laid out in the street came in numbers and that’s where Thabiso had the opportunity to prove that he lives thug life from Thembisa . This man out of the blue had a screwdriver (I swear I don’t know where he pulled it out from) and he stabbed the first back up person that came to the scene. The rest of the guys took quick steps back. So I quickly went to fetch my order because I saw the securities were approaching from all directions and were quickly closing in. I took the screwdriver and put it in the middle of one Scwarma. Those securities knew Thabiso had a weapon but couldn’t prove it and they couldn’t come to me because I was not involved in that. Thabiso and Sbu Jam were rejoicing from the victory they just had and they started acting pompous on the scene. Those securities didn’t have time for games and in an instant they pepper sprayed them both in the face. Sbu Jan jolted to the Gautrain station 🚉 for reasons he only knows. Apparently the securities there were friendly enough to allow him to wash his face. I was left with Thabiso and I was pulling him back to The Fields . So the guy couldn’t see and as I was helping him to the flat I also touched his face with my hand. We got to the flat to find Sbu Jam already there still washing his face. Thabiso was next and I was just laughing the whole time.
I fell asleep only to wake up in maybe 20 minutes or less. I knew it was 20 minutes or less because I was still drunk. My penis was burning like hell. I didn’t understand what was going and I got sober in an instant. That thing was burning continuously and went to wash it quickly and it cooled off. It didn’t register to me why it was burning until I slept again. The second time I understood that when I fell asleep my hand which had strong residues of pepper spray was involuntarily slipping into my boxers and it burned my treasured member. Even science can’t prove why we man sleep with one hand holding our shafts but from that day I’ve never done it ever again.
new world mischief 